Posts Tagged ‘howto’

This fortnight in online insights, we help you converse better, help you get on better with your kids, shine the spotlight on some dangerous journalism and then finish with some dangerous album covers. Enjoy

Can you improve your conversation skills? Certainly.

The Positivity Blog is quite a gold mine of timeless articles focussed on helping you tweak important areas of your life. The blog post I have focussed on for this show is one on common conversation mistakes.

It is a worthy read and I encourage you to look at it. Therefore, all I will do for this report is share some choice food for thought.

1 – Not listening. This is the most obvious conversation mistake and the post quotes Ernest Hemingway who once said: “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” The way to deal with this mistake is to check your ego at the door and actually not planning what you will say next but instead doing your utmost to be present and to get inside the story the other person is sharing.

2 – Asking too many questions. This is not as obvious but the point is that asking too many questions can feel like an interrogation. So their solution is to mix questions with statements. This means you actually invest in the conversation while keeping it going. Read the rest of this entry »

Before I start with the websites, I have to give eBay a blast tonight for allowing pompous, over-spun, conceited, corporate speak on their site. eBay is pretty good at saying things like “our fees are going up and it will help you as a seller”, that sort of thing, but now they have started running ads on their US website, using ads from the Yahoo network. This alone is an unsound move in my opinion, however, they have the gall to say it will help improve our eBay experience. What utter piffle. What I am about to read you is a direct quote from the ebay.com website and has been written by a smug little corporate word-mangler, or some old, cynical, burnt out, disengaged corporate hack. How could anyone with an ounce of customer insight or marketing knowhow, come up with this explanation for the new “AdChoice” feature on eBay? Here we go:

“We may use information we have about you to make sure that the ads you see, on the eBay site or elsewhere, are as relevant to you as we can make them. We think these relevant AdChoice ads will personalize and improve your eBay experience.”

OMG!

How to Detect Lies and Become a Lie Detector
At the Blifaloo website, I have found an introduction on how to tell if somebody is lying to you. The techniques covered on this page are reportedly similar to those used by police, and security experts. There is an interesting disclaimer or warning on the page that says:

“Sometimes Ignorance is bliss; after gaining this knowledge, you may be hurt when it is obvious that someone is lying to you.”

Some of the signs of deception start with the smile. If someone smiles and it mainly involves their mouth, they are likely to be faking it. Real smiles involve cheeks, foreheads and particularly eyes. In fact, this tutorial suggests that the eyes give it away because few people can squint their eyes while doing a fake smile.

Looking at the rest of the body, liars will make quite stiff limb movements and hold most limbs close to their body and are unlikely to place an open hand on their heart or chest. They will probably touch their face, throat or mouth, behind their ear or scratches their nose. But the tutorial also makes a blunder. It says liars will typically avoid eye contact. At this point, they should single out different cultural groups because from the few cross cultural workshops I have done, particularly with aboriginal culture, eye contact is typically avoided and is often seen as an aggressive stance.  So use this tutorial with care.

When it comes to verbal context and content, there are a couple of intriguing points:

1 – liars will often avoid lying by NOT making indirect statements, they will imply answers rather than deny things directly. Just reflect on this point, next time you watch an interview with a politician or company spokesperson. Or listen to Leon Byner – you hear this sort of thing all the time.

2 – if you suspect someone is lying, change the subject quickly and watch if the person changes quickly too, and becomes relieved and relaxed. A liar will be grateful to have moved on. Someone who had been telling the truth will typically be confused by the change and will often try to bring the subject back so it can be dealt with.

Use with care – here is the link – http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies.php.

EcoImpact Carbon Footprint Calculator
Everything has an eco-footprint. By that, I mean everything has an impact on the environment through its production, use and disposal. This handy widget-based calculator, made by EcoSynergy, a software company that has made a platform for making carbon footprint calculations, helps focus our attention on just how much the tiniest things in our lives affect the environment.

This calculator covers a range of aspects of live, from food to the office, from building to the household. Here are some examples:

Food

450g of white rice has a 1.3kg carbon footprint, while the same amount of pasta is only 953g of CO2.

450g of beef has an 11kg carbon footprint, yikes! Whereas smoked ham has a 4.5kg footprint, as do eggs.

Office

Photocopiers, printers and toner are among the worst culprits when it comes to carbon emissions. So when documents say “think before printing” you now know how important that is. Projectors and whiteboards are also large emitters of CO2.

What struck me was that even your humble box of 1000 staples, emits the same CO2 as driving a sedan about 17km or using a laptop computer for 300 hours.

Household

That set of 4 drinking glasses at home, caused about 12kg of CO2 emissions, and three bath towels cost about 18kg.

And the big one is the television. Just a 32 inch tv has a 257kg carbon footprint, equivalent to driving a sedan about 1200km, or using a laptop for 22,000 hours. And given the amount of rubbish on television, either driving or communicating via the laptop would be much better for you!

You can play with the free calculator at http://www.ecosynergyinc.com/share/widgets/.

Food Craving Chart
On this page by Dr Colleen Huber, a naturopath, you will find some ideas about what is lurking behind the various food cravings you might be experiencing. Here are some I found most helpful:

If you crave chocolate, you are really after magnesium which you can find in raw nuts and seeds, legumes and fruit.

If you crave lollies, you could be after chromium which you can find in broccoli, grapes, cheese and chicken.

If you crave lollies, you could also be after carbon which you can find in fresh fruits.

If you crave bread or toast, you are really after nitrogen which you can find in high protein foods such as fish, meat, nuts and beans.

If you crave oily snacks or fatty foods, you are really after calcium which you can find in foods like mustard greens, broccoli, cheese and sesame. Actually, sesame pops up a lot in Colleen’s writing. I am thinking I should find a source for sesame in my diet.

If you crave coffee or tea, you could be after phosphorous, sulphur, salt or iron which you can find in a whole range of foods from eggs to capsicum, to liver, to seaweed, to meat, and to black cherries.

If you crave solids to liquids, it means you are so badly dehydrated you have lost your sense of thirst, so you need to drink water ASAP, perhaps flavoured with lemon or lime. Curiously, if you seek liquids over solids, the prescription is the same – more water, about 8-10 glasses a day.

The list goes on with recreation drugs, tobacco, overeating, burnt food, chewing ice, etc.

You can read the list yourself at http://www.naturopathyworks.com/pages/cravings.php.

Top 40 Requested Bridal Waltzes
Adelaide company, Entertaining Events, has a list of the top 40 requested bridal waltzes as reported by their DJs. And I must say, people have mixed taste!

Love is all around by Wet Wet Wet comes in at number 5, I Swear by All-4-One at number 4, Hero by Enrique Iglesias at number 3, There You’ll Be by Faith Hill at number 2, and Beautiful In My Eyes by Joshua Kadison at number 1.

There are some other standards there I would expect, such as Have I told you lately by Van Morrison, Can’t help falling in love by Elvis, When you say nothing at all by Ronan Keating, Sea of love by the Honey Drippers, and Unchained melody by the Righteous Brothers.

There are some shockers in there too, such as You are so beautiful by Joe Cocker (this is a great song, but how could you possibly dance to it); Waiting for a girl like you by Foreigner (it is just moody and mopey); and the worst entry is Cruisin by Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis (this really is a classic B-side nothing commercial time filler that should never have been picked up by radio, let alone played as the song to launch your marriage).

You can check out the list at http://www.entertainingevents.com.au/wed40.html.

Adelaide Green Porridge Forum
I have found an amusing blog written by a fellow Adelaidean, Colin Campbell. Colin describes himself as a “Transplanted Scot, with an Australian partner, a seven year old would be Computer Game Junky/Cricketer/Yugioh Duellist/Pirate.., nine year old all Singing and Dancing/Mobile Phone Video Artist.., Spotty the annoying but friendly dog, Ben and Daisy, the rabbits, 7 budgies , the memory of Mr Quail, 2 goldfish and a few worms (they suspend life in the hot weather). I spend most of my time tending to the needs of my employer and my flock, ferrying, cooking, child taming, washing the dishes, cleaning, dusting…you get the picture. We just bought a house, so I am gainfully employed with my wife’s long list of projects *sigh*.”

His blog is a delightful collection of thoughts and humorous observations on life. I particularly like his post on July 17, 2008, about speed cameras. The state government is about to spend 3.5 million on new speed and traffic light cameras but Colin gives this a eerie twist with an image of a speed camera fitted with a machine gun. His story says there is likely to be a spike in the road toll at first, but then the cameras will start saving lives!

I also like his entry from earlier that week about the Sheffield Shield name returning to state cricket. Here’s his intro, “The Intra State Australian Cricket Competition and major loss leader for Cricket Australia in their quest for world dominance in the land of the Silly Mid Off, Point and Square Leg has had a face lift and is set for new life as the Sheffield Shield again. Many Australian traditionalists have been unhappy with the retirement of the shield and its replacement by Pura, a milk brand.”

Make an amusing appointment with his blog at http://adelaidegreenporridgecafe.blogspot.com/.

Charge Your Glasses
This site begins with a reassuring introduction – “Worried about your wedding speech? Charge Your Glasses is here to give you content and confidence. Whether you are the father of the bride, groom or best man, we provide everything you need for a brilliant, smooth-flowing speech. And yes, it is all free. The catch? There isn’t one.”

The site helps you work through the speech creation process methodically, breaking speeches down to the following components:

1. Opening
2. Introducing yourself
3. Relief
4. Physical
5. His early years
6. School Days
7. College / University
8. Job
9. Hobbies
10. Drink
11. His home
12. Girls
13. Meeting his wife
14. The happy couple
15. How she’s changed him
16. His wife
17. Our friendship
18. Summing him up
19. Toast

To get going, you just click on a section of the speech at a time and then on a relevant angle, By choosing the topic of “girls” and then “his first time”, I got this delightfully saucy piece:

I bumped into a familiar looking girl in the pub last week.

After I’d stared at her for a few minutes she came over and introduced herself …

… as the woman who had taken away Lawrence’s innocence many years ago.

I was shocked.

Because she made the story last for an hour and a half.

Which, from my understanding …

… was approximately an eighty nine minutes longer than the original incident!

But working backwards, there is a brilliant opening ploy called “I’m going to shock you”.

Never before, in the history of weddings, has a best man been under more pressure.

People kept whispering about what I should and shouldn’t say.

And then I heard that Anna had approached my wife to find out what was my speech contained.

So I’m sure you’d all like to know that this

(pause and hold two pieces of paper in the air)

is the official, authorised, family-friendly version of my speech.

(Pause. Rip it up in front of them.)

Well, for those of you who remember Blue Peter … here’s one I prepared earlier!

(Produce another speech from pocket)

This is an excellent site and great for excellent ideas. You will have to register to use it, but it is all free, and can be found at http://www.chargeyourglasses.com/.

The Mother Of All Excuses Place
If you have ever wanted to find a tactful way to get out of a commitment, this site is for you. The guys behind this site have collected excuses from the workplace and take submissions to be added to the website.

The excuses are grouped into themes, such as, missing school and homework, police or accident, kids, getting out of family events and holiday functions, breaking dates, doctors and doctors note, missing church, wedding, diet, why I ate that, debt, tax, not paying the rent, getting out of home repairs, unwanted house guest, jury duty, not voting, no sex, and miscellaneous.

Some of my favourites include:

Church Excuses

• Well…I could not come to the church last Sunday… because there was a sermon in the radio.
• (Real Mysterious Sounding) “I just had this feeling I shouldn’t be there.”

Work excuses

• My car ran out of gas on the way to work. I was pushing it to a gas station and I got a stomach hernia and I have to go to the doctors.
• A graphic artist I once knew told me of a person who called in and said his house had burned overnight. He was caught in the lie when word got out because co-workers took up a collection and the guy had to come clean when they gave it to him. He said it’s just so much easier to say you’ve got diarrhea. They can’t argue with that.
• Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

Breaking a date

• This is how to break a date: (if you live with your parents) when the other person calls you, and asks you what they want to do, say “Just a second, let me ask my mom” then you go to your mom and scream “MOM! F— YOU!!” almost any mother would then ground you….Case solved, instead of being with the loser….quality time with yourself.”

You can find these excuses, and more, at http://madtbone.tripod.com.

The Cool Hunter
This mainly pictorial site is an eye opener. If you want to see “cool”, amazing, and sometimes awful and eccentric architecture, this site needs to be in your bookmarks.

Of particular note, is the feature on the private, seaside estate being created in Abu Dhabi, in the United Arab Emirates. Apartments will sell for about 40 million dollars each – so oil sheiks will be needing to keep the price of oil high to pay for them. I think you need to see these sleek buildings which sit on stilts in the sea. Staggering. My link takes you to this pictorial, to continue looking at the site, just click on the menu item, Architecture, towards the top of the page. See the site at http://www.thecoolhunter.com.au/architecture/Exclusive-Private-Residential-Estate-Abu-Dhabi/.

Then, if you want to see some amazing bars and clubs, click on the bars/clubs menu item and make sure you see the weird, jetsons-like setting of the Blue Frog Lounge in Mumbai.

50 things everybody should know how to do

This article is a rich resource of how-to links and videos covering a pretty comprehensive list of basic life skills. Sadly, the only one missing that I think is important is “how to make or find the perfect espresso”, but I guess they had to cull some things from the list. The full list is here and the headings are below.

1. Build a Fire – Fire produces heat and light, two basic necessities for living. At some point in your life this knowledge may be vital.

2. Operate a Computer – Fundamental computer knowledge is essential these days. Please, help those in need.

3. Use Google Effectively – Google knows everything. If you’re having trouble finding something with Google, it’s you that needs help.

4. Perform CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver – Someday it may be your wife, husband, son or daughter that needs help.

5. Drive a Manual Transmission Vehicle – There will come a time when you’ll be stuck without this knowledge.

6. Do Basic Cooking – If you can’t cook your own steak and eggs, you probably aren’t going to make it.

7. Tell a Story that Captivates People’s Attention – If you can’t captivate their attention, you should probably just save your breath.

8. Win or Avoid a Fistfight – Either way, you win.

9. Deliver Bad News – Somebody has got to do it. Unfortunately, someday that person will be you.

10. Change a Tire – Because tires have air in them, and things with air in them eventually pop.

11. Handle a Job Interview – I promise, sweating yourself into a nervous panic won’t land you the job.

12. Manage Time – Not doing so is called wasting time, which is okay sometimes, but not all the time.

13. Speed Read – Sometimes you just need the basic gist, and you needed it 5 minutes ago.

14. Remember Names – Do you like when someone tries to get your attention by screaming “hey you”?

15. Relocate Living Spaces – Relocating is always a little tougher than you originaly imagined.

16. Travel Light – Bring only the necessities. It’s the cheaper, easier, smarter thing to do.

17. Handle the Police – Because jail isn’t fun… and neither is Bubba.

18. Give Driving Directions – Nobody likes driving around in circles. Get this one right the first time.

19. Perform Basic First Aid – You don’t have to be a doctor, or genius, to properly dress a wound.

20. Swim – 71% of the Earth’s surface is covered by water. Learning to swim might be a good idea.

21. Parallel Park – Parallel parking is a requirement on most standard driver’s license driving tests, yet so many people have no clue how to do it. How could this be?

22. Recognize Personal Alcohol Limits – Otherwise you may wind up like this charming fellow.

23. Select Good Produce – Rotten fruits and vegetables can be an evil tease and an awful surprise.

24. Handle a Hammer, Axe or Handsaw – Carpenters are not the only ones who need tools. Everyone should have a basic understanding of basic hand tools.

25. Make a Simple Budget – Being in debt is not fun. A simple budget is the key.

26. Speak at Least Two Common Languages – Only about 25% of the world’s population speaks English. It would be nice if you could communicate with at least some of the remaining 75%.

27. Do Push-Ups and Sit-Ups Properly – Improper push-ups and sit-ups do nothing but hurt your body and waste your time.

28. Give a Compliment – It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give someone, and it’s free.

29. Negotiate – The better deal is only a question or two away.

30. Listen Carefully to Others – The more you listen and the less you talk, the more you will learn and the less you will miss.

31. Recite Basic Geography – If you don’t know where anything is outside of your own little bubble, most people will assume (and they are probably correct) that you don’t know too much at all.

32. Paint a Room – The true cost of painting is 90% labor. For simple painting jobs it makes no sense to pay someone 9 times what it would cost you to do it yourself.

33. Make a Short, Informative Public Speech – At the next company meeting if your boss asks you to explain what you’ve been working on over the last month, a short, clear, informative response is surely your best bet. “Duhhh…” will not cut it.

34. Smile for the Camera – People that absolutely refuse to smile for the camera suck!

35. Flirt Without Looking Ridiculous – There is a fine line between successful flirting and utter disaster. If you try too hard, you lose. If you don’t try hard enough, you lose.

36. Take Useful Notes – Because useless notes are useless, and not taking notes is a recipe for failure.

37. Be a Respectful House Guest – Otherwise you will be staying in a lot of hotels over the years.

38. Make a Good First Impression – Aristotle once said, “well begun is half done.”

39. Navigate with a Map and Compass – What happens when the GPS craps out and you’re in the middle of nowhere?

40. Sew a Button onto Clothing – It sure is cheaper than buying a new shirt.

41. Hook Up a Basic Home Theater System – This isn’t rocket science. Paying someone to do this shows sheer laziness.

42. Type – Learning to type could save you days worth of time over the course of your lifetime.

43. Protect Personal Identity Information – Personal identity theft is not fun unless you are the thief. Don’t be careless.

44. Implement Basic Computer Security Best Practices – You don’t have to be a computer science major to understand the fundamentals of creating complex passwords and using firewalls. Doing so will surely save you a lot of grief someday.

45. Detect a Lie – People will lie to you. It’s a sad fact of life.

46. End a Date Politely Without Making Promises – There is no excuse for making promises you do not intend to keep. There is also no reason why you should have to make a decision on the spot about someone you hardly know.

47. Remove a Stain – Once again, it’s far cheaper than buying a new one.

48. Keep a Clean House – A clean house is the foundation for a clean, organized lifestyle.

49. Hold a Baby – Trust me, injuring a baby is not what you want to do.

50. Jump Start a Car – It sure beats walking or paying for a tow truck.

Pick Up Pal

No, this is not an online swinger’s service, this is car pooling service with a slight twist. Drivers and would-be passengers both register independently on the site and then the site’s proprietary system matches drivers to passengers using a raft of preferences. Part of the twist is that you can also find a driver to deliver some goods for you, rather than just take you for a ride.

Who pays? The passengers pays an agreed price to the driver and the driver is then billed for 7% commission by Pick Up Pal.

It was launched in January 2008 by a Canadian, whose mum signed the Kyoto Protocol on behalf of the Canadian government. I guess that gives some street cred to a service like this! The site claims to have saved 480,000kg of CO2 emissions and to have coordinated 1.5 million km of travel.

Another clever aspect of this site is the free website offer for groups holding events or organisations with high people traffic. It is called the eco-rideshare program, and the free sites helps people come together to share transport to/from the event or organisation.

If you want to explore the site, sign up as a passenger and look around, at PickUpPal Adelaide.

Juice Bag

Here’s a glimpse into the future. Reware, a US-based company, has just released a solar powered attaché case that can recharge your mobile phone, PDA, and other accessories while you are on the move.

The bag sells for about AU$330 and can power an army of small devices. It doesn’t have the “juice” to charge a laptop at the moment, but you never know what’s around the corner. You can find out more at http://rewarestore.com/product/profolio.html. – hat tip to Lee Hopkins

Wiki Send

If you have ever had to send a large file to someone and did not want to burden your recipient’s email server, Wiki Send is a free tool you will find useful. You can use this service to upload large files, up to 100 meg, and then send a link to your recipient who can visit the site to download your file. If you give your recipient a week to download the file, the service is fast. If you choose to give them more than a week up to 90 days, the file will be put into the second class service area, and will download at half the speed.

I have also been using YouSendIt but WikiSend has a cleaner and simpler interface. Start sending files now at www.wikisend.com.