There was a time in my younger life when I was quite gripped by insecurity and jealousy. It was a flawed response to some unfortunate events.
But I’m thankful that a healthier perspective was gradually achieved. These lyrics, written in March of 1992, were part of the process. By ridiculing the wasted effort spent trying to catch someone out, it made such habits increasingly intolerable.
There is something of a caricatured, 1940s cartoon villain, lurking in this deranged state of unhappy affairs, so I turned to the unencumbered wandering of jazz/cabaret to really hone the comedic notes. I wanted my former self’s habits to be lambasted and I think this delivers.
One addition to the 1992 lyrics is the bridge. I was very new in songwriting back then and hadn’t heard Sting’s full-blooded defence of the importance a bridge brings to song; to offer a counterpoint, an aspiration, extra context, etc.
Now, I can’t get enough of this song. Thankfully, my copy is digital and not vinyl because it would have been warn out by now. In fact, I love this song so much, I built a hybrid fourth verse just so the song could keep going.
Repentance Raw Scratchings
Repentance Lyrics
[verse 1]
Any stone along the path
That might have been disturbed
Received my full attention
In my past life, in my past life
But now I’ve changed my skin
I wear a different uniform
I speak a different language
And at last my heart is warm
[Chorus]
I’ve spent too long beneath the surface
Like a paranoid archeologist
I found skeletons and whispers
But I found no joy in this
I’ve spent too long as Sherlock
Too much time as Chan
Now I must be Jesus
Or we will be damned
[verse 2]
I always checked behind my shoulder
And I’ve kept watch every night
How could you look into my dark eyes
Or bear my pale skin, so white?
I’ve missed far too many seasons
Searching through the freezing depths
I’ve wasted time in mixing poison
And setting questions for each test
[Chorus]
I’ve spent too long beneath the surface
Like a paranoid archeologist
I found skeletons and whispers
But I found no joy in this
I’ve spent too long as Sherlock
Too much time as Chan
Now I must be Jesus
Or we will be damned
[Bridge]
I cannot seek forgiveness
I dare not dream of your consent
But I will start with this repentance
Until my sentence has been spent
[verse 3]
I’ve studied codes and patterns
I’ve been intercepting notes
I’ve been researching history
I’ve been memorising quotes
But now my fascade’s crumbling
My shelter all but lost
I must bear your scrutiny
And be prepared to share the cost
[Chorus]
I’ve spent too long beneath the surface
Like a paranoid archeologist
I found skeletons and whispers
But I found no joy in this
I’ve spent too long as Sherlock
Too much time as Chan
Now I must be Jesus
Or we will be damned
[Verse 4]
I’ve studied codes and patterns
I’ve been intercepting notes
I’ve been researching history
I’ve been memorising quotes
I’ve missed far too many seasons
Searching through the freezing depths
I’ve wasted time in mixing poison
And setting questions for each test
[Chorus]
I’ve spent too long beneath the surface
Like a paranoid archeologist
I found skeletons and whispers
But I found no joy in this
I’ve spent too long as Sherlock
Too much time as Chan
Now I must be Jesus
Or we will be damned